Bad day.

Nothing worked out for me today. As much as I never want to realize it, family is always there. No matter what. Blahhhhh

I just learned of a couple that had been trying and trying to get pregnant and then finnaly did. She just made it to her 37th week....and found out that the baby passed away a couple days ago. They don't know any details yet. I cannot even begin to imagine how they are feeling. I am sure that they are completely heartbroken. I only know of them from a close friend, but it still makes me want to bust out in tears.

Even though Noah was not planned by any means, I cannot imagine my life without him. Sure, sometimes I think that it would be a lot better if he came a few years down the road, but I am so thankful to have him in my life. He is the reason for the majority of my happiness. I really believe that everything happens for a reason.

That being said, I suppose someone has a plan for that couple. Obviously that baby was not meant to come into this world. Sometimes, especially in a time of such grief, it is hard to realize that. I will definitely keep them in my thoughts and hope that they can come to terms with their loss. Their little girl will be their guardian angel from now on. Rest in Peace, sweet girl.

Today was mostly a lazy day. I did everybody's laundry (including myself) and made breakfast, and actually got ready for the first time in two days. Noah and I went to Ikea, which was extremely overcrowded today. I have no idea why I thought it was a good idea to go on a rainy Saturday. It is so hard for me to go there and not want to buy everything. I did buy a few things though.

This lightweight down comforter that I have been needing for a few months now, considering I wake up almost every night sweating to death.

These awesome bib/shirt/smock things for Noah because he is such a messy eater.

And this salad spinner that I have been wanting.

All in all, I think I only ended up spending like $30. It was so hard for me to resist buying a cinnamon roll. They really know how to getcha. The whole place smells like a freaking cinnamon roll. But I was good, and said no. Mostly because the line was so long. Ha

Phil had to work tonight (more on that part of our lives later) so I have been all alone. I rented Blue Valentine because I have heard such good things about it. But man, it left me feeling so depressed. I do have to say that it was a very good movie, but very sad. It hit home, unfortunately. Oh well.

Tomorrow is Phil's day off so hopefully we will do something all cute and family-like. But I'm sure we will just sit at home and do nothing. Ugh. Story of my life.

Let's try this again....

I told myself I was going to try to write in this as often as possible, but clearly that did not happen. So here goes attempt number two. I really want to be able to go back and read posts about Noah's baby years and months when I can no longer remember them. Well, hopefully I will always be able to remember, but ya know. Life speeds passed before I even realize it. How in the world is my little baby already over 10 months old?! It's so crazy. I really don't know where the past 10 months have gone.

Noah is into EVERYTHING. For the past 15 minutes he has taken nearly every single dvd and game case out of the cabinet and scattered them around the living room. He knows how to stand up, but he will only do it without holding onto something when he doesn't realize that he's doing it. I guess he hasn't fully built up the courage yet. I just know he will be walking any day now. Definitely before he is 1, but probably more like around 11 months.

Just like any other boy, he LOVES to play with things that he knows he is not supposed to have. Sometimes I leave something intentionally on the floor so that he thinks he can't have it, but really he can. It works every time. He laughs so much. It really is the best sound in the world. And he is definitely all smiles.
I never knew it would feel so great to watch my little baby boy grow up. It is very sad to realize that is not so little anymore, but it is so much fun. I love him with all of my heart. Just look at him. How could I not love him?

happy half birthday!

Noah,

You are six months old today. I seriously feel like it was just last week that I had you. You have already grown into such a loving little boy. I never knew that I could love someone or something as much as I love you. You make every single day so much better. Even when you are a little grouch, I love you.

You can officially sit up by yourself now. Sometimes you are still a little wobbly, but you are doing so good! The past few days you have been trying to get up on your knees. Please don't do it yet. I'm not ready for my little boy to be crawling. You absolutely LOVE to jump in your johnny jumper. You have been a pro at since you were about 3 months old. The doctor was amazed at how strong your legs are. Speaking of that, you just recently figured out your walker. Now you can maneuver yourself around the kitchen and even go backwards when you get stuck. Today when you were in your walker you opened the kitchen cabinet. Luckily, the walker was in the way so you couldn't get anything out. But I swear you are the smartest boy in the world.

You think its so funny to pull my hair. And sometimes you try to eat my face. I pretend that you are trying to kiss me though. I cannot describe the feelings I get when you wrap your arms around my neck. You are so sweet to me. I know one day I will have to beg you to hug me, but I know that will not be anytime soon. You love bath time more than anything. You could soak the entire bathroom with your splashes if you wanted to.

Today you had green beans for the first time. The doctor told me to mix it in with cereal, but you didn't like that idea. I think you liked the green beans, but you acted like you were disgusted just like you do with everything that goes in your mouth the first time. I'm sure you will be a good eater, just like your daddy.

Even though we don't see Daddy every day, I hope that you know he thinks about you ALL the time and talks about you even more. He works so hard for us every day. You should be proud of him. You always get so excited when you see Daddy. It makes me want to cry every single time I see you guys laughing together. You both mean so much to me.

We don't have this book yet, but I am going to go buy it as soon as I can. These have always been my favorite lines from any children book and it just so happens to pertain to YOU now--
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."
-Robert Munsch from Love You Forever

Happy half birthday my sweet baby boy. I love you always & forever.

Love,
Mama

The sweetest moment--so far

I have been slacking. I want to get in a routine of updating every day or every other day, but that hasn't happened yet. But I wanted to share what happened last night.


Noah is teething and therefore he gets very fussy sometimes. Last night he had a hard time falling asleep. I usually lay him down in his crib and he falls asleep on his own after a few minutes of rolling around. Last night though, he was very upset (I'm guessing his teeth [or lack there of] were bothering him). After letting him cry for a few minutes I picked him up and put him in my bed. He calmed down a lot, but was still rolling around and couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep. I decided to lay down with him and cuddle with him. He instantly got comfortable and started rubbing my face with his sweet little hands. After about two minutes, he fell right asleep. I held him for a few minutes then put him back in his crib where he slept soundly all night.

I immediately called Phil to tell him how sweet Noah was. I expected him to call me lame, but he thought it was very sweet too. Even though Noah stresses me out sometimes, when things like that happen I tend to forget about all of the rotten times he has. Because he really is the sweetest, cutest and most lovable boy in the world. We are so lucky.

Introduction to me.

My name is Karyn. I am 21 years old. I have a 5 month old son and am recently engaged. I seem to be living my life backwards, in some sense. I have been wanting to start a blog for a long time. My life is so busy and eventful and I want a place to capture everything. I have never been a very good writer, but I am going to give it a try. So here goes nothing....

 My little family.